lover, you should've come over.
i met a boy.. after a very long time i cant open up my heart to someone new since my last 4 years relationship with my ex boyfriend.
i finally opened my eyes to a part of the world. a part of life that i didnt know existed. i honestly didnt know that a person could feel so incredibly and horribly miserable.
we're on the same university, one of my close friend used to talk about him a lot cause he's a very good looking guy. but in that time, im not interested at all. i dont care about how handsome he is. and when i finally saw him for the first time, yes, he's cool and good looking. my friend was right. BUT i still dont give a damn about him. cause i dont know him, and he doesnt know me.
until.. okay im gonna make it short
soooo, i volunteered to teach children in a village (somewhere i cant tell)
and, turns out this guy is one of the commitee. hmmm
on the first night, he tried to contact me through line but my phone has no signal so i didnt reply.
and the other night, we talked about a lot of things, he wants me to tell stories about anything. and if you know me, i loveee talking to people.i love sharing stories. at first, i just think of him as a friend. nothing else. but this chat goes on everyday. and i cant remember when the last time im having an intense conversation with someone.
i think this guy is cute. crap.
i like the sound of his voice, the way he laugh and smile. the way he gaze at me when we talk. damn guy, you make me curious.
long story short..
I already knew that it was going to be something different. We had this intense chemistry that immediate drew us closer despite the differences we had as two individuals. So naturally we wanted to spend more time together and we did just that. We joked, we laughed, Before I knew it, I had already fallen for him hard and fast. It was so amazing that it felt almost too good to be true.
i started to believe in anything that he said. how he wanted to see me right away, and blabla.. he even told me he missed me..
It's funny how things never really turn out the way you thought they would. Reality is different from our expectations.
and i was wrong. i was wrong about him.
i shouldnt believe him.
maybe im the one to blame. this guy just broke up with his gf 1 month ago.
theres no way he moved on in just 1 month. especially when you know hes dating for 3 years. he told me how much he struggled, how much he wanted me to understand his position. when in fact, hes not really over his ex.
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t fathom any of it. Everything that I thought was mine, I had wholeheartedly treasured just vanished like a popped bubble in front of my eyes. I thought he blind-sided me. He strung me along. He made me his rebound. I was just a temporary band-aid for his broken heart.
The thought of him wounded me like someone just stabbed me right in the chest as I was torn apart between the love and hate for him. And what sucked the most is that, if I had not told myself to hate him, that love part in me would have immediately run to him, like a big time loser.
It’s scary to me how feelings could blind me and take over me like that. But I guess it’s the only way I could ever learn to let go of the people who were never meant to be in my life in the first place, those who do not want to stay.
Most importantly, it was the chance for me to learn: to forgive, to accept and to respect people’s choice even if that choice means my heart getting broken.
Now looking back, it turned out that that guy was much wiser than me. He left me to be with someone he loved while I held on to him — someone who didn’t want me. I kept thinking I was stuck in that situation but the truth is, I wasn’t. I always had a choice, and still do. The choice to walk away from those who hurt me, the choice to be happy, to move on, to choose someone who has both his feet in the door, who is open to love and ready for love and not settle for anything less, especially not someone who doesn’t love me the same way.
I was struggling but it was doable. The key thing is to be brave — brave to let go and move forwards. If you could do that, then trust me, it’s definitely going to be okay because time would take care of the rest.
i finally opened my eyes to a part of the world. a part of life that i didnt know existed. i honestly didnt know that a person could feel so incredibly and horribly miserable.
we're on the same university, one of my close friend used to talk about him a lot cause he's a very good looking guy. but in that time, im not interested at all. i dont care about how handsome he is. and when i finally saw him for the first time, yes, he's cool and good looking. my friend was right. BUT i still dont give a damn about him. cause i dont know him, and he doesnt know me.
until.. okay im gonna make it short
soooo, i volunteered to teach children in a village (somewhere i cant tell)
and, turns out this guy is one of the commitee. hmmm
on the first night, he tried to contact me through line but my phone has no signal so i didnt reply.
and the other night, we talked about a lot of things, he wants me to tell stories about anything. and if you know me, i loveee talking to people.i love sharing stories. at first, i just think of him as a friend. nothing else. but this chat goes on everyday. and i cant remember when the last time im having an intense conversation with someone.
i think this guy is cute. crap.
i like the sound of his voice, the way he laugh and smile. the way he gaze at me when we talk. damn guy, you make me curious.
long story short..
I already knew that it was going to be something different. We had this intense chemistry that immediate drew us closer despite the differences we had as two individuals. So naturally we wanted to spend more time together and we did just that. We joked, we laughed, Before I knew it, I had already fallen for him hard and fast. It was so amazing that it felt almost too good to be true.
i started to believe in anything that he said. how he wanted to see me right away, and blabla.. he even told me he missed me..
It's funny how things never really turn out the way you thought they would. Reality is different from our expectations.
and i was wrong. i was wrong about him.
i shouldnt believe him.
maybe im the one to blame. this guy just broke up with his gf 1 month ago.
theres no way he moved on in just 1 month. especially when you know hes dating for 3 years. he told me how much he struggled, how much he wanted me to understand his position. when in fact, hes not really over his ex.
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t fathom any of it. Everything that I thought was mine, I had wholeheartedly treasured just vanished like a popped bubble in front of my eyes. I thought he blind-sided me. He strung me along. He made me his rebound. I was just a temporary band-aid for his broken heart.
The thought of him wounded me like someone just stabbed me right in the chest as I was torn apart between the love and hate for him. And what sucked the most is that, if I had not told myself to hate him, that love part in me would have immediately run to him, like a big time loser.
It’s scary to me how feelings could blind me and take over me like that. But I guess it’s the only way I could ever learn to let go of the people who were never meant to be in my life in the first place, those who do not want to stay.
Most importantly, it was the chance for me to learn: to forgive, to accept and to respect people’s choice even if that choice means my heart getting broken.
Now looking back, it turned out that that guy was much wiser than me. He left me to be with someone he loved while I held on to him — someone who didn’t want me. I kept thinking I was stuck in that situation but the truth is, I wasn’t. I always had a choice, and still do. The choice to walk away from those who hurt me, the choice to be happy, to move on, to choose someone who has both his feet in the door, who is open to love and ready for love and not settle for anything less, especially not someone who doesn’t love me the same way.
I was struggling but it was doable. The key thing is to be brave — brave to let go and move forwards. If you could do that, then trust me, it’s definitely going to be okay because time would take care of the rest.
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